


Hurting And Healing

by clockworkswan



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Childhood Sweethearts, Fluff, Growing Up Together, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Long-Distance Friendship, M/M, Other, Tree Houses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-13 11:16:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7974853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clockworkswan/pseuds/clockworkswan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Magnus freezes. It’s then that he realises. He should’ve seen it before. He’s fairly certain he’s crushing on his best friend. His neighbour. The one boy who grew alongside him."<br/>Childhood sweethearts AU where Alec and Magnus grow up next door to each other. Over the years, they transition from playmates to best friends to something more. But as usual, the path to happiness is always complicated. Oneshot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hurting And Healing

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Hurting And Healing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12049629) by [j_blueberry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/j_blueberry/pseuds/j_blueberry)



> This is what happens when you binge-read 'Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe' and cry yourself to sleep at 3am. Honestly, this book DESTROYED ME. In the best way.  
> This is something sweet, a little bit feels-y, and totally self-indulgent fluff. I wanted to write malec growing up together and falling in love and being TOTAL IDIOTS BECAUSE GET TOGETHER ALREADY.  
> I hope you enjoy it!  
> Happy reading :)  
> Huge thanks to Meg, (Shad0w-writer on tumblr) for reading this over and being awesome!

_“Maybe we just lived between hurting and healing.” - Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe._

_~_  

 

An eight year old boy ought to be playing with trucks. Or picking on his sister and driving his parents up the wall. An eight year old boy shouldn’t hide himself away in a treehouse. 

But Alec likes it up here. Tucked away in the small corners of the treehouse, he can see the world without having to fear it. He can dangle his feet over the edge and smile at the distance between himself and everything that means to ensnare him with duties he doesn’t care for. 

Something happens one day that changes Alec’s life completely. 

He hears a voice, from down below call up.

“Hi?” 

He peers down and sees a small boy, probably his age or a little older, smiling up. He has brown skin and wide eyes. He’s also wearing a green sweater that’s far too big for him, and his leg is bouncing up and down as though he can’t contain his energy, but Alec finds his smile warm. 

“Hey," he says back. 

“Is this yours?” the boy asks him, his dimples showing as he smiles. 

Alec nods. He sits on the edge of the treehouse and watches as the boy stays exactly where he is. He doesn’t try to climb the ladder, but he doesn’t rush off either. He simply waits. 

The boy then points to the other side of the fence, at the Fairchild’s house. “I’m from there.” 

“You’re friends with Clary?” Alec wrinkles his nose. “Sorry.” 

They’ve been neighbours with the Fairchilds for years now, but he still doesn’t like the redhead girl. She likes to team up with Isabelle and rope him into playing games with them. 

The boy laughs then, and it’s such a sweet sound that Alec blinks in surprise. He’s never seen anyone laugh like that, as though the world is theirs to do with as they wish. He always thought laughter was something to be kept a secret. 

“I like her,” the boy defends, shrugging. He nods. “What are you doing up there?” 

“It's my garden," Alec says plainly. “What are _you_ doing down there?” he mumbles. Surprisingly, he doesn’t feel like his private space has been broken into, but he doesn’t quite know what else to say to the boy. Or why he’s standing in his garden and smiling like he knows something. 

The boy tilts his head to one side. “Waiting for an invitation of course.” 

Alec smiles then. He can’t help it.

Somewhere between the boy’s smile, and his teases, he decides to share the treehouse; his space.

He nods for the boy to climb the ladder.

~ 

Alec learns that the boy is Magnus Bane, and that he’s a new addition to the Fairchild's home. He’s in the same year at school, despite being a year older, because of some transfer issue that happened when his parents moved here from Indonesia. 

When Alec presses Magnus for more information, the boy silences. He doesn’t say why he’s living there now, but he does say that it’s permanent, and Alec almost smiles. He feels a little guilty then, but he’s pleased that Magnus is now his neighbour. 

And as Jocelyn calls Magnus back into the house to meet the rest of his neighbours, Magnus climbs the ladder again. At the bottom, he rests his chin on the ladder and grins up at Alec.

“So, _can_ we be friends, Alec?” Magnus asks him. 

“Uh…” 

Alec licks his lips, thinking. Why hadn’t he thought of asking that? Izzy’s always telling him that he needs more friends, and so he nods. Because he likes the way that Magnus smiles, and he likes the kindness in his bright eyes. 

“We can be friends," he calls down.

~

 

And that’s how they grow up, side by side and inseparable. 

Maryse and Jocelyn joke at how they’re unlikely friends. Both are so different; Alec is quieter, whereas Magnus is bolder. Alec prefers the logic of puzzles and archery practise, and Magnus likes to dance and cartwheel around the garden instead.

But they’re always together, especially thanks to the little gap they make between the fences one night. 

Alec likes the family game nights the best, and the summer barbecues when everyone is together in the garden. He likes it slightly less when his newly adopted brother, Jace, stammers out a hello to Clary at their first barbecue together.

Alec rolls his eyes at Magnus. _Great_. 

Now he knows he’ll definitely be seeing more of Clary. Whether he likes it or not.

But if Clary brings around Magnus, Alec decides that it’s not so bad after all.

~ 

The day before they start middle school is a strange one. 

They’re starting to grow into their limbs and Alec keeps waiting for the moment to arrive where he starts to feel comfortable in his own skin. He feels awkward and unsure as he watches Magnus continue to dance away and live in each moment. 

Magnus persuades him to steal out into the forest behind their houses, and they’re halfway through re-enacting the Luke versus Vader fight when Magnus drops his ‘lightsaber’ – really, just a crooked wooden stick- and looks at Alec. _Really_ looks at him. His chest heaves a little from their enthusiastic fight. 

Alec squirms under his gaze, unsure what his friend is doing. He’s not used to be looked at. Especially when he’s suddenly realising how sweat-soaked his t-shirt is, and how messy his hair likely is. 

“Alec,” Magnus says quietly. 

“Y-yeah?” 

Magnus tilts his head in that familiar way. Alec used to think it meant he was studying someone, or looking for something, but now he just thinks Magnus uses it to steady _himself_. To think things over in his head before he speaks.

His lips part. “Can I kiss you?” 

The question dances around the clearing, pushing into Alec’s chest and bouncing off his rib-cage. If he could just catch it and have time to think, he would. But it slips out before he can. Alec feels his cheeks flush. They burn as if a candle is being held to his face. The burning spreads to his stomach, coiling with an aching need. 

He steps back. “W-why?” 

Magnus grins. “Why _not_?” 

And because Alec can’t think of anything to say, he just shakes his head and stares at the ground; not letting himself think about what Magnus’ lips would feel like.

Not stepping closer, Magnus simply shrugs. He doesn’t look upset, or angry either, and Alec looks up at him again. 

Magnus’ lips tug again. He winks. “I dare you kiss me, Alec.”

This time, Alec runs. He turns around and races through the clearing. 

Magnus chases him, his laughter warming Alec’s skin as he runs, but when his friend catches up, he doesn’t kiss him. He doesn’t even touch him as they walk through the forest. He just hands Alec the stick back, and they pretend like he’s never said a word about kissing.

~ 

They’re halfway through high school when Alec realises something. 

“Why are you friends with me?” he asks Magnus. They’re sitting together in the treehouse, which has become the one thing they haven’t grown out of. Toys and sword fighting has been long abandoned, replaced by notebooks, pens and sharing music instead. 

Ever since that first day, they’d come up to their treehouse – which Alec didn’t even realise he was calling it until he said ‘let’s go to our place’ and Magnus had smiled at him so widely that he kept calling it that.

They often have study sessions together, quizzing each other for pop quizzes even though they share very few classes together except gym. 

But when they’re up in the tree, and the ground seems so far away, Alec and Magnus are the only two people in the world. 

Alec is usually furiously studying and scribbling away, and Magnus will be tapping out a rhythm as he listens to music or tries to choreograph something in his head. At just fourteen, he’s already a huge hit in the drama department; beating even the seniors out of the leads in shows. He’s always dancing around or showing off, but he does it with such charm that no one seems to mind at all. The teachers adore him, and he’s far too likeable to have enemies. The school bullies are almost frightened of him, and how he holds his head high and takes on the world. 

He starts wearing eyeliner that first year, and no one bats an eyelid.

He even takes the harder classes at the salsa club across the block from them. 

Magnus moves like water and dances with a fire in his blood.

Alec wonders if he’ll ever have even half of Magnus’ confidence. All Alec does is lose himself in the work. He buries his heart in between pages of algebra. Their logic embraces him, and doesn’t scare him like other things do. He likes law and geography. He likes to paint sometimes, but Magnus is the creative one out of the pair. Smart, too. Bold and witty.

And he wonders, again, why Magnus still hangs out with him. He smiles if they pass in the corridor, sometimes walking right up to him at lunch if he has free time. Or finding Alec in the library and challenging him to another game of checkers. Alec isn’t at the bottom of the social pile, but he’s certainly no legend. Magnus could befriend anyone he wanted. Why did he choose Alec? 

Magnus stops his tapping. He removes his headphones, giving Alec his full attention. “What do you mean, Alexander?” 

Alec swallows. He should be used to Magnus calling him his full name by now. He’s done it for a while now, and it never fails to send tingles down Alec’s spine. He’s not used to the heat that licks around his body when Magnus says his name like that; like it means something. 

“Uh, nothing. Sorry. Never mind.” He shrugs, turning back to finish drafting his essay.

After a moment, he hears the music start back up again.

~ 

Magnus is quite sure that Alec is the strangest creature he’s ever known. He’s shy, yet thinks a lot about things beyond Magnus’ understanding. It’s not that Magnus isn’t intelligent, but he doesn’t care to sit and discuss movements when he could be _actually_ moving. 

And sometimes, Magnus can’t keep up with Alec. His brain is always thinking, thinking, thinking, and Magnus wants to yell at him to quit doubting himself so much. He knows Alec. He’s seen his test results, and the amazing future he has awaiting him. 

 _Why doesn’t he see himself like I do?_  

His friends at school are nice. He likes Ragnor and Catarina in particular, and he likes the comfort they bring him, but there’s something about Alec that he can’t ever get enough of. Every time he sees him sitting up in the treehouse, or catches a glimpse of messy, black hair dashing in the school corridors, Magnus feels Alec’s presence soak him in warm rainwater. 

It feels like tilting his head back and tasting that first drop as it falls from the sky. It feels pure and delicate, but so strong. So inevitable. 

Magnus and Alec are both sixteen when it happens. 

Thanks to Ragnor’s love for mechanics, he’s produced a beautifully restored red pickup truck for Magnus’ birthday earlier that year. Along with Luke’s gift - a learner’s permit– Magnus starts to plan a surprise for Alec. He knows that Alec has been under a lot of stress with exams, and he doesn’t want to make a big deal out of turning sixteen, but he has an idea. 

And so, on the night before Alec’s sixteenth, Magnus carefully climbs the pipe leading up to Alec’s room. He climbs silently, swinging his legs over the balcony of Alec’s room and looking in through the window.

He peers through the fogged-up glass and sees what he thought he would. He sees Alec on his bed, reading quietly and occasionally staring off into the distance. His lip is caught between his teeth, his long legs splaying out across the bed. 

Magnus taps a single finger on the glass. 

Alec jumps with a start, but when his eyes find his in the low light, his lips pull into a surprised but pleased smile. At least, Magnus hopes it’s a happy one. He beckons Alec with a finger, pointing at his bedroom door before disappearing back down the pipe. He shimmies down and slips between the gap in their fences, heading out to the front where his truck is parked. He waits. 

A minute later, Magnus watches as the Lightwood’s front door opens, and Alec slips out into the night to join him. He’s shrugging on a black jacket, and his shoulders have started to fill his clothes out in a way that Magnus can no longer ignore. 

“What are you doing out here?” Alec whispers. “It’s almost midnight.”

Magnus just grins, his scarf blowing slightly in the breeze. It’s fall now. The weather is warm tonight, but it could drop at any moment. 

“Come with me," he says, and Alec rolls his eyes, but obeys. He climbs into the passenger seat of the truck and lets Magnus drive them away from their houses and out onto a quiet highway. He finds the solitary spot just off the main road, an old observation spot with a grassy hill and small, wooden picnic table.

It’s dark, but there are so many stars in the sky that night, and their faces are lit up under their silvery light.

He grabs the blankets he stashed in the back and hands Alec one. They climb into the back of the truck, and Magnus curls into the corner, pressing his back against the edge and leaning back to watch the stars. When he sees Alec still standing, he pats the spot beside him tentatively. 

He suddenly realises that perhaps this isn’t something you’d do with your best friend.

That maybe it means more. 

Even so, Alec sits down; slightly in-front of Magnus.

After a moment, he leans back further, and into Magnus. His head rests on Magnus’ chest. He’s only a bit taller than Magnus, and his dark hair tickles his nose a bit, but Magnus doesn’t mind. He considers wrapping his arms around Alec. He wants to hold him. Perhaps he has for a while now. Still, he doesn’t want to threaten the moment unfolding around them. 

This is nice, and Magnus thinks they deserve it. 

They stargaze for what feels like hours that night. Magnus makes up constellation names and stories to go alongside them. Alec laughs, often correcting him quietly. Sometimes he goes along with the crazy ideas, and other times, he simply listens as Magnus whisks up an adventure about gods and mortals and creatures who dream so hard they become stars. 

And when the moon looks so bright Magnus thinks it might burst, he lowers his head slightly. His lips are close to Alec’s ear.

“Happy birthday, Alexander," he whispers. “The stars are yours to chase.” 

And that’s all he says. Because he knows that Alec wouldn’t want a gift, or even a book. He can get those himself. This is something that Magnus can gift him; time. Being on your own, but not alone. He knows how Alec likes solitude, but not loneliness, and Magnus hopes that he’s given him something good. Something to help him realise that he’ll never be alone. 

Magnus wonders how many other people look at their friends and want to give them the world.

Is it common to feel so protective of another? To want to shield their soul from darkness? To want to hold them and watch the stars until the days blur into one and their arms around yours become the only home you’ll ever need?

It’s then that he realises. He should’ve seen it before.

He’s fairly certain he’s crushing on his best friend. His neighbour. The one boy who grew alongside him. 

As if he can hear his thoughts, Alec turns around, his hands braced on either side of Magnus’ legs. He looks up at him, hazel eyes burning as brightly as any star that Magnus can see. Alec smiles, and it slots a key inside Magnus’ heart, unlocking it and spilling colour into the night. 

He dips his head down and takes Magnus’ lips against his own. 

He kisses him softly, so gently. Magnus doesn’t move at first. He’s too afraid to move and break the spell. Alec’s lips are warm and hesitant, and he doesn’t know what to do. What does Alec want from this kiss? And does he want more, like Magnus does?

After a pause, Alec brings one hand up to Magnus’ cheek. His thumb swipes out and brushes across Magnus’ cheek, tracing the bone beneath and cupping his face in his shaking palms. 

Magnus kisses him back, but he knows that he has to be patient with Alec. Even if it kills him. So he lets Alec kiss him slowly, exploring him carefully. Daring to hope, Magnus lifts his chin a fraction. Just enough to deepen the kiss and test the waters.

Alec doesn’t flinch back. He presses further into Magnus, pushing him against the truck’s walls as they kiss. 

If the legends were true, and the stars had eyes, after all, they’d look down and see two boys kissing in the back of the red truck. They’d see innocence and desire fitting together in their lips. 

Magnus doesn’t quite remember how long they stay like that. All he knows is that Alec is kissing him, and he’s holding him like it’s the greatest gift anyone has ever given him. 

Magnus knows then, just like he’s always known. This is special.

~

Riding around in Magnus’ truck becomes another one of their things. Alec teases him about the awful paint job, and Magnus kisses him until he’s blushing and forgetting he ever dared insult his baby. 

They get through high school, one test at a time.

Magnus isn’t sure what they are. They’re not really a couple, or at least, they don’t use that word. They don’t talk about it either. Both are too afraid to broach the topic.

Their talks become deeper, their time together becoming even more valuable as the end of school approaches. They sometimes escape to the treehouse if Maryse is skyrocketing Alec’s nerves through the roof with her college interview talks. 

They kiss a lot as well. They kiss enough for Magnus to know that soon, something will have to change. To move forward, bravery was needed. They were both still so young, and Magnus didn’t know if Alec wanted to take it further than stolen kisses and hands touching under the table. 

Their futures are tugging them away from playgrounds and stargazing, one day at a time. Soon, Alec is going to disappear to some top college to study law or science. Something that enables his beautiful brain to continue being amazing. 

And Magnus wants to go to New York. He wants to study the arts in the Big Apple itself and soak up the adventures waiting for him. 

But he’s also selfish, and doesn’t want to part with Alec. He doesn’t want to leave his best friend in the entire world. Erasing their kisses, or laughs, from his life, leaves Magnus a little breathless. And not in a post-make out way. More like a my-world-is-ending way. 

The thought of breaking Alec’s heart is an unbearable one. 

It makes it worse when Camille gets herself involved. Camille; the school’s designated mean girl slash Magnus’ co-star in a lot of the school plays, who he’s kissed a few times before realising he’d rather sit on a porcupine. 

He walks into the library one time, just in time for his and Alec’s planned lunch break - _totally not a date_ \- a chess rematch. He steps in and sees Camille standing far too close to his best friend. He doesn’t hear what she’s whispering, but it’s not good, judging by her gleeful smile. She smiles cruelly when Alec flinches back. 

“Get the hell away from him,” Magnus snarls, quietly but with enough heat. He makes sure the librarians aren’t watching and then stands in-front of Alec. He lifts his chin. 

“That’s not very gentlemanly of you.” Camille laughs. She runs a painted nail across his forearm. “You’ve been working out still, I see. Pity you’re wasting such a talented body on… _this_.” She narrows her eyes at Alec. 

It’s ridiculous because Alec is just as well-built as Magnus, but Camille latches on to his insecurities like a leech. Alec stares at the floor furiously. He’s becoming smaller by the second, hunching his shoulders as if bracing himself against the words. 

“Get. Lost," Magnus spits out. 

Camille simply laughs. “Oh, no need for worrying about me. It’s _your_ future I’m concerned about," she tells Magnus, and for a second, her voice is so soft that he almost believes her. 

But as is the way with wasps, they’re laced with honey _and_ a sting.

“You’re only going to get your heart broken. Again.” Camille looks between them. “He’ll hurt you soon, and we both know it.” She takes a step back, surveying the damage with a small smile. “They always leave you, don’t they?” 

This time, Magnus feels the burn. Her words twist into his insides. 

He has no idea how she knows about his past, but Alec has known for a while now – ever since he told him one night in the truck – and his eyes widen. Memories of his mother, hanging from the ceiling, return to Magnus. He sees the body swinging, and the lifeless eyes half-closed. He hears his father, laughing and swaying as he throws an empty wine bottle at her. Even in death, his mother is still beautiful, and he remembers looking up and tugging at her ankle; begging her to move again. To sing him a lullaby. But he only hears his father’s laughter, and later, when the police take away her body, and his father’s still-laughing self, Magnus remembers the flashing lights. 

The pain overwhelms him then. The loneliness is a cruel reminder that maybe he’s just not good enough. Maybe no one can ever love him. 

But he also remembers the good. He remembers the tall man with a kind smile, stepping out of the car and pulling the sobbing Magnus into his arms. He stays beside him on the ride to the station, talking quietly to him. 

He remembers Luke telling him that he’ll have another home. And soon. One where he is loved and cared for again. He remembers Luke’s arms, protective and warm, as he leads him into the Fairchild’s home. Clary’s smile flickers into his memories, playful and happy as she leads him around his new home; to their two cats, the garden, and then their neighbours.

He remembers meeting a hazel-eyed boy in the garden. A treehouse filled with memories. He remembers kisses in a truck, under the stars. 

And so, Magnus sets his feet, stares down Camille and says, “I think you’ll find yourself leaving now.” 

He takes Alec’s hand in his and leads him away. They head out of the library and into the nearest bathroom. Thankfully, it’s empty. 

Magnus, still a little shaken, turns to Alec. “I’m so sorry. She’s awful. Has she tried to speak to you before, Alec?” 

“N-no,” Alec replies. He stares at the row of mirrors, his expression unreadable. “She usually just glares at me or smirks. Like she knows something I don’t.” 

With a sigh, he turns and hoists himself onto the low sink table. He sits in silence for a moment. When he looks across at Magnus - who’s just standing there, unsure - tears form in his hazel eyes.

“She’s right though. Isn’t she? I’m going to break your heart, Magnus. Or you’ll break mine.” 

“No. We won’t do that to each other,” Magnus pleads, the desperation in his voice so clear. He cups Alec’s face between his palms and shakes his head. “No," he says again, fiercely. “We will always have each other, no matter where we are.” 

Alec smiles, but it’s a sad smile. A smile that breaks around the edges and crumples his beautiful face.

“But we’ll never be…this again.” 

Magnus realises what he means then. They’ll say goodbye to this; to their youth. They’ll wave farewell to stolen kisses and play fighting and sharing earphones as they study. 

Alec hops off the counter with a quiet thud. He sighs. Opening the bathroom door, he hovers in the room for a moment. 

He looks back at Magnus and his expression is sad.

“You’ll always be my best friend, Magnus,” Alec says. It sounds too much like a goodbye for Magnus to accept it. 

The door shuts.

Magnus places his arms on either side of the sink and cries.

~ 

Graduation arrives in the blink of an eye, and as Magnus holds the cap in his hands, he smiles. He’s finally done it. He’s chasing his dream and leaving behind everything he’s ever known. Awaiting for him in New York is the school of his dreams; where he can dance and act and flounce poetry all year round. He can shape himself into whatever he wants to be. 

He stands beside Alec as they listen to their principal drone on about success in the outside world. He’s pretty sure he quotes _Star Trek_ at some point. 

“Do you think he rehearses something different every year?” Magnus whispers to Alec. “I think he practises in front of the mirror. For sure.” 

He can hear the smile in Alec’s voice when he replies. “And his dogs.” 

Magnus smiles too, because Alec is heading to a good college as well, and they both have futures ahead of them; futures that they’ve worked their asses off for. It wasn’t easy going back to friends in their last year, but they made it work. Somehow. 

It’s a lie. Of course it’s a lie. 

But when it comes to Alec, Magnus wants more than he can give. Always more. They still hang out a great deal, and Alec always comes to his shows – both school-produced and outside – no matter how amateur and awful they are. And Magnus always waits outside the exam hall for Alec, waiting to walk home and listen to how it went. 

It’s the most painful thing he’s ever had to do. There are moments when Magnus wants to reach for Alec’s hand in the hallway, or kiss him before they walk up to their separate driveways. He wants to trace the curve of Alec’s lips but finds himself unable to do so. 

By the end of high school, Magnus is openly bisexual. He has been for a while, but made it known quite clearly during his final drama project. It involved a humorous, but hard-hitting sketch about sexuality. It involved a lot of blue, purple and pink and specific emphasis on the b word itself, and the applause that came after it redeemed Magnus’ hope in the world. He supposes it’s fortunate that he’s beautiful and apparently popular enough to not be attacked for it. 

Hell, he’s Asian, wears makeup and flirts with anyone he wants 

But he looks at Alec and knows that he’s still hiding. He’s still unsure of who he is. And no matter how many times he tries to – carefully – broach the subject, Alec swallows and looks away. 

They take photos with all their friends, and later, joint family photos. The Lightwoods and Fairchilds bunch together and grin at the camera, and Magnus later has a copy made of it tucked inside his wallet before he leaves for New York. 

The following week is the worst night of Magnus’ life. It beats any heartache that has come before now. 

It’s the night before Alec leaves for university. 

It falls on a late summer night, at a garden party in the Lightwoods’ garden. Maryse and Robert are away on a work retreat, and entrust their children to celebrate wisely. Next door, Luke and Jocelyn were also away on a weekend break, resulting in Magnus and Izzy taking down the fences – carefully and soberly – to set up a double garden extravaganza. There’s a huge space for dancing, tables of food and a small campfire in the middle later on. A lot of their friends from school arrive, as well as some of Alec and Izzy’s cousins. 

And that’s how they find themselves drunk and angry at 2 in the morning. 

Most of the party is gone now, the excitement fizzled out. Only close friends remain, in a circle around the fire. They sit and smile and share memories of their time together. 

Clary, giggling in Jace’s lap, says to Isabelle, “I dare you to kiss Simon!” 

And Isabelle does. She takes the boy’s face in her hand and kisses him soundly, wrapping her arms around his neck. 

The circle wolf whistles, laughing at the blushing boy with now fogged-up glasses. Everyone laughs, because it’s Simon and Isabelle; the most unlikely couple to ever grace the hallways. The shy nerd and the brainy beauty. And yet, they work together so well. They always have. 

Magnus feels his eyes drawn to Alec’s. He’s sitting opposite him, an amber, fire-soaked blur as he watches through the flames. When he gazes across, Alec is already looking back. 

Clary chooses that moment to poke him in the ribs. “Magnus, I dare _you_ ,” she begins, "to…” She looks around the circle and thinks, and then her eyes light up. “Treat us to a monologue!” 

“No. Please," Jace groans. “I can’t take that.” 

Magnus flips him off, but in a way he’s grateful. He’s not feeling in the mood for flowery language right now. Especially when his best friend has refused to say a word to him all night. 

“Just do a poem then!” Clary pleads. Beside her, Isabelle raises her glass in agreement.

Magnus rolls his eyes as the circle begin to clap, urging him on. He holds up a hand, surrendering. Best to get it over with. He’s still slightly tipsy, so when he stands, he almost falls, but Isabelle helps him regain his balance. 

He looks at Alec again, the embers burning bright as he stares. Frustration wells up inside Magnus, pushing the hurt deeper. He knows that Alec feels something for him. Surely, it can’t be imaginary. 

He remembers why he’s standing again. 

He introduces the poem’s title with a flourished flick of his wrist. “’ _As we are so wonderfully done with each other’_.” He can feel the words cut into the air like knives. 

Alec flinches visibly, but Magnus is bitter and fucking _hurt_ , so he carries on. “'We can walk into our separate sleep. On floors of music where the milkwhite clock of childhood lies.” He slurs a little. “Oh, my lady, my fairest dear, my sweetest, loveliest one.” 

He looks at Alec now and finds the tears welling in his eyes. 

Magnus clears his throat and carries on. “Your lips have splashed my dull house with the speech of flowers. My hands are hallowed where they have touched over your soft curving.” He rushes on, the words spilling like secrets now. “It is being God to feel your breathing under me.”

He pauses for breath, his circle of friends waiting for him to finish. Magnus digs his fingers into his thighs. “A waterglass on the bureau fills with morning.”

The last line hurts the most.

Magnus whispers it, straight across to Alec. “Don’t let anyone in to wake us.'” 

As he sits down again on the grass, answered by cheers and claps, he swipes away the tears. Beside him, Izzy is the only one to catch the gesture, and she holds a question in her eyes as she looks between himself, and her brother. 

Everyone leaves soon after, piling it to cars with their dedicated sober driver, or sleeping off their drunken states at Clary’s empty house. In the garden, the fire begins to flicker out. Neither Magnus or Alec have moved, both still sitting and staring into the flames as unspoken words hover around them. 

Alec stands suddenly. “You’re an asshole," he says to Magnus, so quietly that it loses all of its anger. 

Magnus just nods. “And you’re a coward.” 

It surprises them both to hear it said out loud. Magnus feels guilty, and then angry, and then hurt all over again. He watches as Alec stands there, still watching him with sorrowful eyes. 

Finally, Alec breathes out, “Yes. I am.” He admits it simply. “I’m too much of a coward to give you what you deserve. So let me go.” 

He turns around, walking up to the porch and leaving Magnus with the dying fire. 

 _Screw this,_ Magnus thinks angrily. He’s angry at himself, at Alec, and at the world for making it so hard to follow your heart. He runs across the garden and grabs Alec’s arm before he can open the porch door. 

“No,” Magnus says. “I don’t want to lose you, Alexander.” His hand is wrapping around Alec’s, pulling it towards him. He brings it up to his lips and kisses the trembling knuckles. “I really, really, can’t lose you.” 

Alec turns to face him, and his eyes are wet. “And I don’t want to lose you either,” Alec admits. His voice shakes and shudders, cracking unbearably. “But asking for something more is insane. It will only hurt you later on, and I cannot be another scar for you to bear, Magnus.” 

“I don’t care if you hurt me,” Magnus begs. “Just be with me.” 

The quiet of the night wraps around the porch, suspending them in time. 

Magnus waits, and when Alec replies, his voice is gentler and tentative. “Can’t we go back to being friends? It was easier," he says tiredly. But there’s a smile tugging at his lips. 

“We will always be friends,” Magnus says. “But no matter where you live, and who is lucky enough to be beside you, I’ll always be in love with you, Alexander.” 

The words don’t just slip out, they burst out like fireworks. Magnus can’t contain them any longer, and he hands them to Alec with as much hope as he can muster up. 

Alec sucks in a deep breath. He pulls Magnus to him, cupping a hand around the back of his neck and kissing him hard enough to bruise; hard enough to shape a future out of their lips. Perhaps if they try hard enough, they can. 

When they make love that night, it’s rushed. It’s a desperate mess of tangled limbs. It’s Alec fighting for a happiness he’s not sure he deserves, and Magnus trying to hold him long enough to convince him otherwise. Kisses are exchanged, and hands touch and hold. Desperation becomes longing, becomes sweat and tears. 

Until it stops. Until they pause, and Alec studies Magnus’ face with wide eyes. He traces his cheek with his fingertips, their movements slowing down. Magnus waits with baited breath for Alec’s moment of panic. He waits for him to push him away and end this thing between them for good. 

So when Alec captures his lips between his once more, and this time, deepens the kisses, Magnus wants to cry. Alec’s touch becomes tender and sweet; unafraid and unashamed. He buries his head in Magnus’ shoulder, and Magnus curls his fingers around his neck and whispers whatever he can to soothe him. Their bodies tremble and, finally, tip over the edge. 

Falling in love with your best friend, Magnus decides, is the best and worst decision anyone can make. You fall in love with their laughter, and their closeness; only to have it taken away and turned into something else. Something you cannot come back from. You will grow up beside a boy and watch the man walk away. 

Their one night together is painful and beautiful, and wraps a map around Magnus’ heart; anchoring him – now and always – around Alec. 

“We’ll find a way,” Magnus promises him in the dark. He whispers it again, into the place where Alec’s heartbeat pounds away beneath his chest. “Find your way back to me, Alec.”

~

And, as it always does, life forks their dreams into tough choices. 

It plucks a simple future and turns it into a whirlwind of colour, chaos and choice. It makes it beautiful, yet maddening. 

Surprisingly, they find it easy to carry on talking while they’re apart in different states. Alec calls Magnus a lot, and Magnus is a giant dork and returns the favour by sending him letters. 

They keep each other updated about college. Alec is the first person to find out that Magnus won the lead in _Much Ado About Nothing,_ and Magnus is the first to hear about Alec’s first published essay on medieval law practices. He reads it, half in awe and half in confusion, but beams the entire time. He’s so proud of Alec. He can see the craft in his words, and shakes his head at how the hell Alec ever thought he had no artistic talent. 

“You’re a genius, Alexander,” Magnus tells him on the phone. They were supposed to meet up, but once again, Alec was swamped with work, and Magnus has too many lines to run to take a weekend trip before show night.

But a late night phone call still makes Magnus’ heart flutter. Just hearing Alec’s voice is enough. 

“Says the one who can memorise an entire book of Shakespearean lines.” Alec’s laughter is warm down the phone. “That shit is like another language.” 

“It is. I love it.” Magnus pauses, and then adds, “I can’t wait for you to come and see the show.” 

“Me too. I promise, I’ll be there.” 

When they say goodnight, Magnus feels the first stab of uncertainty. His faith wavers, just for a moment.

He dismisses it, climbing into bed and turning out the light.

~

Show night arrives, and Magnus doesn’t see Alec in the crowd. 

He scans and searches but he can’t see him anywhere. Disappointment almost overwhelms him, and he loses himself in the performance, throwing himself into the words and earning laughs and cheers from the audience, but the ache in Magnus’ stomach only gnaws away. He’s disappointed, sure, but more than anything, he’s sad. 

Perhaps Alec didn’t care enough to come. Perhaps he was off waltzing around with a new man. Someone who was closer and could shower him with affection every day.

The curtains close. 

Magnus waits backstage long after everyone is gone. He stares at the velvet curtains as they shield him from where the audience had sat. 

Someone clears their throat behind him. 

“Hi.” 

Magnus spins around, and the sight of Alec standing there, breathless and in a suit and holding a bouquet of flowers, is more rewarding than any applause. 

Alec’s face falls. “I’m so sorry. The train was delayed, and my cell died and like an idiot, I forgot to bring the charger…”

“I don’t care,” Magnus says. It’s a bit of a lie, but for now, he’s just relieved. “You’re here.” 

He takes the flowers from Alec and places them on the table of the dressing room. He pushes himself into Alec’s arms and kisses him soundly, trying to forget the gnawing in his stomach telling him that something’s wrong.

“You were amazing,” Alec tells him softly. 

“You didn’t even see it!” Magnus laughs, resting his forehead against his. “How do you know?” 

“You’re always amazing,” Alec replies, without hesitation. And they stay like that for a while; foreheads pressed together; holding back the world.

~

As he holds Magnus in his arms that night, Alec wants to say it. It. The words. 

He wants to pour his heart into them and whisper them against Magnus’ lips. He needs Magnus to hear them, and to know that he’s always going to be waiting for him, even if Magnus becomes a star in the sky that Alec cannot touch, but simply gaze at. 

If Magnus shines too brightly for him, Alec knows he’ll still be waiting. 

But he can’t say it. For some reason, the words feel like a life sentence, and he doesn’t want Magnus to feel like it’s a promise he has to break. To say it now would be to ruin everything. 

Or at least, that’s what Alec thinks. He holds Magnus’ hand whenever he can, not knowing how long he might be able to. 

And as it turns out, they don’t have very long at all.

~

Until now, Magnus didn’t realise that you could break up with your best friend. It takes standing on a train station platform at five minutes to midnight to realise how wrong he had been. 

He didn’t realise you could end it with someone you’ve known for so long. That you didn’t cherish their hand in yours on that last day. That you didn’t memorise their smile and selfishly take them into your arms and listen to their heart beating. 

So then they’re standing on the train station platform, and Alec turns to him, tears in his eyes, and says, “I can’t do this."

Magnus knows what’s coming. He feels his heart ready to crack, and break. 

“Why?” he asks Alec, his voice barely a whisper. 

“You know why.” 

Magnus doesn’t. He really doesn’t. They’re almost done with college, and they can do whatever they want. He doesn’t understand why Alec wants to give up. 

Confusion turns to anger, which turns into pain. 

He snaps at Alec then. “No. I don’t know. Because you don’t speak to me. Not about this. Not about us. I know you feel what I do, and yet…you’re willing to throw it away because you don’t believe in it. You’re scared, Alec. I know. So am I." 

“You’re my best friend, Magnus. I need that. Only that.” 

Magnus feels hot tears make a path down his cheeks. “You want me to be your friend? I have always been your friend, Alec. And I have always loved you. I cannot separate them.” He whispers now, “Don’t ask me to hide my love.” 

“I won’t,” Alec says, firmly, but his hands are trembling as they become fists. He turns away from Magnus, ready to board the train. “Which is why I’m stopping this. For now. I want this, I do, I really, really do, but…” He sighs. “I can’t give you my heart, Magnus.” 

“Why not?” 

Alec's voice is small. “Because I don’t know how to love.”

~

As he climbs onto the train, Alec hates himself more than ever before. 

He’s a liar and a coward. He’s already given Magnus his whole heart, he’s just afraid to say it. To let himself believe that they could win. 

It’s easier to hide behind the excuse of work, so that’s what he does. He tells himself that getting a job straight out of college is his main priority. He remembers what his parents have taught him and repeats their words, over and over again.

He tells himself that this is the last time he’ll ever put Magnus through this. Because he loves him, and he doesn’t deserve someone who can’t love him openly. 

_Maybe one day. Maybe. Maybe._

_~_

Calls become less frequent after that. Letters become less. Not less long, or frequent, but just… _less_. They are still friendly, but not personal. They are written carefully and no longer full of teases and certainty. 

Alec reads them still, holding them to his chest. He keeps them safely in the drawer of his office desk, at the law firm he’s started working for. 

He knows that Magnus is doing well – his charisma and charm land him many roles in plays and dance shows alike - and Magnus knows that Alec is as well. They hover over the edge; content to have each other in their lives, but always with the fear of overstepping. 

Life goes on.

~

“So, you’re marrying the nerd, huh?”

“Hell yes, I am.” Izzy giggles. She hugs Magnus, wrapping her arms around him. Her dress crinkles underneath their embrace, and he feels happy tears spring to his eyes. 

It’s Simon and Izzy’s wedding, and Magnus is arriving just in time to see the bride before she walks down the aisle. She’s asked for his assistance with touching up her eyeliner, and as they do, they chat happily, settling into their old friendship.

He’s almost thirty now, and staring down at Isabelle makes him realise something.

 _We’re all grown up._  

Izzy’s happy smile pulls his thoughts back to the present. “I can’t believe I last saw you at Luke and Jocelyn’s anniversary party! When was that?”

“Two years ago, right?” Magnus says, a little sadly. It was a great night, and seeing his adopted parents again was wonderful, but it was also the last time he’s seen Alec, and they had awkwardly exchanged hellos and small talk the entire night before Clary had saved him and led him away.

“Well, some of us are busy, remember?” Izzy says teasingly. She winks at him. “And _some_ of us are kickass actors.” She smiles proudly at Magnus. “Which reminds me, you promised me to get a sneak peek at your script.” 

“Damn. I did, didn’t I?” Magnus laughs. He’s been working on it for a while now. His first play script. “It needs a lot of work though. And an ending," he adds with a snort. 

Izzy shrugs. “Endings can always be rewritten. Look at me. I actually got married after all!” 

“Traitor.” He narrows his eyes playfully. “You always promised we would be single, and bbffs.” 

“Bisexual best friends forever!” Izzy giggles. “You remember that!” 

They laugh again, and when someone knocks on the tent door, Magnus turns in time to see Alec entering.

“Hey, Iz. The band is ready when you are-“ 

Alec trails off, stopping with a start when he sees Magnus. He’s wearing a suit that flatters his long figure; the deep red contrasting his dark hair beautifully. He looks well, and Magnus is pleased. And also very distraught that Alec has a stubble now, and he can’t touch it. Or place kisses across his jaw. 

Magnus feels the tension in the tent, and realises that it’s his friend’s wedding. He shouldn’t be making this about himself, even if for a moment. 

He smiles. “Hey, Alec.” He goes to hold out his hand and then thinks better of it. Instead, Magnus waves, and when Izzy snorts, he wants to drop and disappear into a hole in the ground. Or die. Or die _in_  said hole in the ground. 

Alec nods and mumbles a hello.

“If you two are quite done,” Isabelle says teasingly. “I’d like my brother to walk me down the aisle.”

“Right. Of course,” Magnus says. He quickly gives Izzy a kiss on the cheek. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, you minx.” 

She hugs him tightly, smiling. “Like get married?”

“You can do that.” He smiles fondly. “I take back our ‘marriage sucks unless you’re marrying Idris Elba’ pact.” 

Izzy’s eyes shine with tears. “How do I look?” she asks, twirling around. Her dress shows her curves off, and her dark hair is curled and arranged loosely over her shoulders. 

“Beautiful,” Magnus says. “Like me.” 

“So true,” Izzy says. She smirks. “Don’t you think Magnus looks beautiful too, big brother?” 

“What? I-I…”

Before Alec can stammer out an answer, Magnus decides to save him. He steps away and says, “Best of luck. See you on the other side!” 

He disappears out the tent, and finds a seat next to Clary, Jocelyn and Luke. 

“Are you alright?” Jocelyn asks, ever the mothering concern. "You look a little shell-shocked, hon." Beside her, Luke looks at him, his eyes narrowing. 

“I’m fine. The bride just needed a little TLC from her fairy godmother.” 

Luke snorts. His arm is casually thrown over the back of his wife’s chair. “Now there’s a role I’d like to see you play.” 

Magnus smiles at him. “I’ll add it to my list," he says happily. He smiles as Jocelyn and Luke lean into each other for a moment. He’ll be forever thanking them for giving him such a wonderful life, filled with so much love. 

“Did you think of an ending for your play by the way?” Clary asks him, as the band begin to play the intro of the wedding march. At the end of the aisle, Simon shuffles, but the smile on his face is so wide that Magnus can’t help but feel happy. 

“No. Not yet," he whispers to Clary. 

And then he sees Alec walking Isabelle down the aisle. Alec's expression is warm and caring and tender as he guides his sister to her fiancé. Magnus sees Alec’s smile and realises that he could find his own ending in Alec’s lips. He could carve the final page out of Alec’s eyes, so bright and proud. 

Magnus looks at Alec and feels his heart clenching, the map he made years ago still tethering him to him, now and always.

He meant what he’d said, so long ago. He would always be in love with Alec. 

As Simon and Isabelle kiss for the first time as man and wife, he dips her and the crowd cheer. Magnus watches as Simon carries Isabelle back down the aisle, the pair grinning and kissing each other; oblivious to everyone else. 

The crowd files out, but he waits. 

Alec is still standing at the altar, and he’s watching him. Waiting for Magnus to get up and leave.

Magnus doesn’t. 

Call him a fool but he’s quite certain that he’ll give Alec a thousand more chances if he asks. Or even if he doesn’t. 

He steps out of the pew and onto the aisle, meeting Alec halfway. They stand close, watching each other for a sign.

Finally, Magnus’ patience is rewarded.

“Do you want to get coffee after this?” Alec blurts out. He suddenly looks annoyed with himself. “You don’t drink coffee," he mutters, staring at the ground for a second. “I’m such an idiot. Uh, tea, right?” 

Magnus smiles fondly. “Sounds great," he agrees, not sure he can take another minute of Alec standing so close without kissing him.

He nods to the entrance. “First, we should really go inside. The reception is starting. We don’t want to miss the first dance.” 

He turns, his shoulder brushing Alec’s slightly as he walks away. Just at the door, he turns back, unable to hide the beaming smile.

“You coming?”

~

Alec tells himself not to hope. Not to let his heart believe he has a chance. But Magnus is standing at the end of the aisle with a smile, and damn it, he really wants to kiss him right now.

But he knows it would be unkind to confuse him even more. 

Instead, they spend the rest of the night catching up, and Alec is delighted to once again be reminded of why he fell in love with Magnus Bane. He’s as charming as ever; playful, kind and witty. He jokes with the bride and makes all of Simon’s relatives fall head over heels in love. 

He confides about being scared about his first play script, and Alec smiles and says, “It will be great, Magnus.” 

They’re standing on the edge of the dancefloor, watching as Simon and Izzy spin in slow circles. Their first dance is a gentle one, and Alec can’t help but feel eager to have his own one day. But he only ever wants that first dance with one other person. He only wants it with Magnus, or not at all. 

Tears of happiness wash over Alec as Isabelle throws her head back and laughs.

She smiles, and it gives Alec the courage to ask Magnus to dance as the next song begins. 

He holds out his hand. “May I?” 

Magnus winks. “Thought you’d never ask, Alexander.” 

And he guides them into the middle of the dancefloor, tucked out of sight in the crowd of bodies. It’s a slow song, sweet and building into a melody that clenches Alec’s heart. It reminds him of their journey. It reminds him of every moment he’s ever shared with the beautiful man in his arms.

 

_You’re the light,_

_That helps me find my way._

_You’re the words,_

_When I have nothing to say._

 

Magnus’ fingertips are brushing his neck, and Alec can feels his hands shaking as he holds Magnus around the waist.

They haven’t been this close for so long. Far, far too long. 

It takes being this close again for Alec to lose control. He wants this. He wants Magnus so much that it’s tearing him apart. 

He squeezes his eyes shut, listening to the words over his heartbeat drumming away.

 

_And in this world,_

_Where nothing else is true,_

_Here I am._

_Still tangled up in you._

_I’m still tangled up in you._

 

He’s about to speak, to say something, when Magnus suddenly pulls back. He grabs Alec’s hand. Without a word, he guides them out of the large, white marquee and into the gardens. He walks Alec towards the stone pavilion, a domed structure with four pillars and a small, circular seating area. 

Only then does he speak. 

Well, he doesn’t actually speak. Magnus sighs. Loudly enough for Alec to hear the words behind it. 

He opens his mouth so many times, only to close it again. Perhaps it’s what stirs Alec into speaking; seeing Magnus as the hesitant one for a change. Even after he’s marched them both out into the warm, summer night, Magnus is still so careful of every little move he makes. 

Alec smiles. He’s always so moved by Magnus’ kindness; by his goodness. It’s a goodness that comes from the heart, and Magnus’ has always been filled to the brim with love and kindness. 

It takes him twenty years to do so, but Alec finally, takes the first step. 

“Magnus Bane," he says quietly. “Will you please be my best friend again?” 

There’s a lot of weight to the simple question. Alec knows it. Magnus knows it. He’s asking for another chance, and apologising at the same time. He pushes all of his hope and regret into the words, hoping his expression is open enough for Magnus to see it. 

Magnus’ lovely face crumples. “I’ve missed you so much, Alec.” His voice cracks, and then he’s stepping forwards, and Alec is already waiting with open arms. He pulls Magnus to him in a crushing hug. They embrace without any more words.

They’re older now; perhaps no less foolish, but at least a bit more aware of their own emotions. 

Alec holds Magnus, and breathes out a sigh of relief when Magnus’ arms wrap around his waist in return.

_We’re going to be okay._

~

They meet up frequently, grabbing any spare moment and making it work. They’re thirty and life is a mess of paperwork, coffee and trying to get through long work shifts. Magnus is determined to finish his script, but it’s still an abandoned idea in the back of his mind for the time being.

But while life is hard, their friendship is easy. It always has been, even amongst the fights and the ‘what ifs’. They’ve always known how to feel at home in each other’s space.

One late afternoon, as they’re waiting for their drink orders and trying to find a seat in the café near Magnus' current loft, Magnus turns to Alec and grins.

“Is this a date?” he asks.

Alec blushes. Does Magnus _want_ it to be? Because if so, then yes. Very, very strongly.

He tries to keep his voice steady. “Uh, it can be?” 

Magnus laughs. His hair is streaked with a beautiful, deep purple today, and the colour reminds Alec of the lilac frosting on the cupcakes they brought the last time they were here. It’s soft and pretty and eccentric and so very Magnus. 

“Hm,” Magnus says. “I think it’s about time we had a date, don’t you think?” 

Alec feels some of his nerves fade away. He even teases, “Does that mean we can say the b word?” 

“Alexander, you’ve known I was bisexual since we were children.” 

“No. Uh, the _other_ b word.” 

Magnus looks at him blankly. They take a seat at a small coffee table, clutching their cups and listening to the gentle pattering of rain outside.

“What word, Alec?” Magnus asks. He gazes at Alec, his expression open and vulnerable. 

Alec realises then. Magnus wants him to _ask_ him. 

He doesn’t mind at all. 

Alec smiles, reaches across the table and takes Magnus’ hand in his own. “Are we boyfriend? I mean, boyfriends?” He smiles sheepishly, focusing on the hand in his. “Are we dating?”

Magnus reaches forwards and brushes a strand of hair away from Alec’s eyes.

He leans back, still holding Alec’s hand and nods happily. “I would love that.” 

“Great. Good. Uh, me too.” 

“Good,” Magnus repeats. He winks. “Because I really want to go outside and kiss you in the rain. How does that sound?” 

To Alec, it sounds like birds chirping, and the stereo playing his favourite song.

It sounds like a new beginning, and the middle of a chapter they’d been waiting to get back to. 

Alec definitely blushes some more. “T-that sounds totally fine.” 

Their coffee cups are abandoned, but their laughter isn’t. 

And if anyone passes by in the car and looks out the window, they would see two people kissing at the bus stop. They would see hands cradling each other’s faces as rain showers down around them. The rain is warm and heavy, and Magnus feels himself soaked in more than rainwater. He’s soaking up Alec’s touches, and kisses. It’s like they’re eight years old again, becoming friends for the first time and learning each other’s names.

But now they’re older, and know how to hold something special in their hands and never let it fly away. 

And when Alec’s bus comes, ready to take him back to his apartment in Maryland, Magnus doesn’t feel too sad about letting him go. This time, he’s going to return. He’s sure of it. 

It makes it even more worthwhile when Alec suddenly hops back off the bus and kisses him one last time. He pulls back, rain dripping from his long lashes. He smiles. 

“I love you,” Alec murmurs. And then he says it again, loudly. He says it with a wide, beaming smile, and Magnus is crying and laughing and his tears become part of the rainwater.

“I love you too," he tells Alec. “Now get that pretty face back onto the bus.” He laughs, shoving Alec playfully. 

Alec climbs onboard again, and to Magnus’ delight, wipes away the fog on the window and waves at him. He blows Alec a kiss, and even with a window between them, Alec’s smile is the brightest thing that Magnus has ever seen.

~

“But why am I blindfolded? Alec, this is so stupid.” Magnus whines a little, but he’s only rewarded with Alec’s arm guiding him into the hallway and through the house. 

He feels the wooden floorboards of the Lightwoods’ house beneath his feet, the familiar creaking of a hallway he’s walked time and again in his youth. 

Alec tuts. “I told you, there’s a surprise.” 

“Did you buy another cat? Because seriously, Alec, the Chairman is already pissed at us for moving him into a new home. He doesn’t need a little kitten to bully.”

“It’s not a cat, Magnus,” Alec says. He continues to walk his boyfriend through their new house. Or, old house really. 

When Maryse and Robert revealed that they wanted to move out, the look on Alec’s face was overwhelmingly sad. Magnus had felt it too; the disappearance of so many memories. 

They had walked home that night, back to the hotel they were staying at while they visited his parents, and sat in silence. Magnus was the first to brave it and ask Alec if he wanted to buy the house. Alec’s face had lit up, and they had marched straight back down to Maryse and Robert and they had happily agreed to hand over the house. 

Moving in day had arrived, but Alec was being strangely cryptic.

All of their stuff was already unpacked, but he had refused to let Magnus in without the blindfold.

So here he was, being led by Alec through their new home together. 

Magnus wonders if the treehouse is still there. 

“Look, Alec, I practically lived in this house when we were kids. It’s not a surprise. I’m sorry, darling, but nothing you can show me will-“ 

“Wait right here. Don’t move. Promise me?” 

Magnus is about to protest, but he can now hear the urgency in Alec’s voice, and he finds himself unable to do anything except nod. “Fine.” 

“Count to thirty, and open your eyes.” 

“Really?" He snorts. "Are we playing hide and seek? Because I’m definitely up for it, if we modify the rules and make it a bit sexier. We could strip every time we find each other. Oh, what an excellent idea!”

Silence. 

“Alec?” 

Magnus frowns, the material wrinkling against his eyes. “Alexander?” he tries again. 

He finishes the countdown in his head, remembers Alec’s words, and slowly takes off the blindfold. 

“Oh.” He says weakly, as the sight before his eyes leaves him more than a little speechless. 

Alec has led him onto the porch, so that the garden is spread out like an empty canvas before Magnus. Only it’s not so empty. It’s been coloured and lit up by dozens of little fairy lights, lanterns and flowers. Two rows of pink and purple tea lights create a small aisle in the middle of the garden. 

Magnus follows them, right up to the treehouse, which has also been lit up with every single colour. Their bright lights are warm and dazzling, and Magnus feels the colours all around him. 

He swallows down his anxious heartbeat and takes the first step up the ladder, which has ribbons curling around. 

He knows what – or _who_ – he’ll find waiting at the top. But it doesn’t make the journey any less exciting. In fact, it makes it more so.  It leaves Magnus with a bashful grin on his face, and a fire in his belly that he hopes will never go away. 

He thinks of the first time he’d seen Alec up in the very same treehouse, all those years ago. He wonders when it was that he fell for Alec. It happened somewhere in-between watching the stars and watching him leave. 

At the top, the treehouse has been widened. Where a simple space used to be is now a much larger area with a hammock, picnic blanket and room enough for Magnus to almost stand to his full height. Lanterns hang from the four corners, but Magnus’ eye is drawn to the centre of the room. 

“Alexander.” 

“Surprise,” Alec says quietly. He slowly lowers onto one knee, and with shaking fingers, clicks open a small, black box that Magnus knows holds their future. “Magnus Bane, you are my best friend. And the only person I love enough in this world to hit my head on the roof of this damn treehouse.” 

Magnus laughs shakily, holding up a hand to his lips and gazing down at Alec. 

Alec smiles up at him. His hazel eyes swim with so much emotion, and so much love. He clears his throat. “I love you. And I know sometimes people say that without really meaning it, but I do. I mean, uh, not _that_.” His smile turns adorably sheepish. “You say that after you get married, right?” 

Magnus nods, unable to speak. He lowers himself onto his knees beside Alec and waits patiently, tears already falling.

“Well, then, please do me the greatest honour in the world, and marry me. Marry me, and we can raise our children in the place we fell in love.” He says the words with certainty and passion. “We can let them know how foolish their papa is, and how amazing their dad was to teach him how to fight for love.”

Alec holds out the ring. “Magnus Bane, will you marry the boy next door?” 

Magnus laugh, smiling happily as he nods. He nods again and again, until Alec gets the hint and slips on the ring. 

Before he kisses him, Magnus wants to say a few words himself. He takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself. Which is hard, considering he’s just become engaged to the man he loves. 

“I will marry you, Alexander. I will marry the boy in the treehouse who showed me what it was to dream, and care for someone so fiercely that you cannot ever part with them. I will marry you, and we will tell our children about why you should never dare your best friend to kiss you and then chase after them with a stick.” 

“It was a lightsaber!” Alec argues, but he’s crying too hard, and so is Magnus, and eventually they just give up on words and turn to kisses.

Magnus kisses Alec like it’s the first time. His back is against the truck, and there are stars above their heads.

He kisses him in the same way when they walk down the aisle together the following year. 

They both cry, and so do the entire wedding party. They married in a small church in the town they grew up in. Nothing over the top. Just their friends, family, and everyone who ever left a mark on them. 

All of their friends and relatives also exchange money, because apparently, their love story has been one that’s had bets going since they were eight years old. 

“You bet _how_ much?!” Magnus cries to Jace that night. He watches as the other man scratches his ear, staring at the ground guiltily. 

“Uh, $100.” 

“That _I’d_ propose?” 

Jace nods. “Yeah. You were always the dramatic one. Not Alec," he grumbles. “You changed my dumbass brother into someone who actually has the courage to pop the question.” He almost sounds impressed now. “Nice job, Bane.” 

Izzy throws her head back and laughs. “Pay up, idiot," she tells her adopted brother, and Jace hands over the money with a happy grin. 

“Excuse me, can I borrow my _husband_?” 

Magnus turns around and finds Alec grinning. His dark gray suit makes him even more handsome, something that Magnus never thought truly possible until now. His hair is slightly unkempt, and his stubble is visible, just the way Magnus likes it. He makes a note to show Alec how much he appreciates it later on. 

Magnus steps into Alec’s arms. “Hello, _husband_. How are you tonight?” 

“I’m well,” Alec says casually. “Totally just married my childhood sweetheart.” 

“Ugh, these two,” Jace says, loudly. He grabs Izzy and starts to pull her away. “They’re going to be even worse now that they’re actually an old, married couple.” 

Alec flips his brother off, but his shoulders are shaking with laughter. He kisses Magnus for a moment, and then pulls back. He smiles. “Are you ready?” 

“To dance? Always, Alec.” Magnus winks. 

Alec’s expression turns playful. His lips twitch. “I actually meant for this.” He points at their new rings. “You know. Life. Together.” 

“Oh, that.” 

Alec raises an eyebrow. “Mm. That small thing.” 

“We’ve been together our whole lives, Alexander. The only difference is that now I can do _this_ ,” He leans forwards and kisses Alec. “whenever I want to.”

Alec leads him onto the dancefloor, and they share their first dance in front of everyone else. Alec stumbles a bit, and Magnus can’t tear his eyes away, but they get through it without anything untoward. 

After so long, they’re together. As friends, lovers, and something in-between. Their hearts had chosen each other long before they understood what it meant.

But now they did, and they were ready to love as fiercely, and for as long, as they could. 

“I love you,” Alec whispers, his nose brushing Magnus’ as he leans down to kiss him. 

Magnus cups his face gently. “I love you too.”

~

And years later, they rock their children to sleep on the very same porch of the house they first met in. 

And the treehouse that was once their home, becomes their children's’ home. 

Max prefers sword fighting, whereas Rafe likes to model new clothing for his dads out of blankets and linen sheets. Alec knows that letting him watch _Enchanted_ was a bad idea, especially when tiny holes start appearing in the curtains. 

He smiles, sitting back on the picnic blanket with Magnus as they watch their children run around in the clearing. 

“Are you happy?” Alec asks Magnus. 

His reply is easy. “Yes.”

Alec smiles. "Did you ever finish the ending of that play by the way?"

"No, actually."

After a moment, Magnus turns to him and kisses him deeply. He looks into Alec's eyes and smiles. "I'm living it instead."

~

_Fin._

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh, what did you think?  
> This was so fun to write, and I hope to write more oneshots in the future :)  
> Let me know which lines/parts you liked, kudos and comments are a great way for authors to know you like their work. If you have the time, dropping a simple 'i really liked this story' means so much :) xxx  
> Also, this happened because I took a 9 hour plane write and listened to a LOT of old taylor swift songs, like Mary's Song, which was a huge inspiration for this fic.  
> ALSO, the slow dance song is 'tangled up in you' by Staind and it's BEAUTIFUL.


End file.
